A Comment about Dragon's Crown

April 24, 2013

If you are unaware of the issue, you can go here (warning: BREASTS).

I am (or should be) the Dragon's Crown target audience. I played the shit out of Tower of Doom and Shadow over Mystaria in my youth at the local arcade. It fills my heart with sadness every time I visit my hometown and see that old arcade all boarded up. If there were an arcade around here, I would still be playing the shit out of those games, and, as it is, I have to settle with emulating them on my computer.

In addition, I absolutely love Odin Sphere and Muramasa. I could (and have) played those games all day long, hacking through all manner of monster and having a great old time.

When I heard about the release of Dragon's Crown by Vanillaware in combination with the designers of the old D&D arcade games over a year ago, I should have been filled with a glee too immense to contain. And I was...kind of...until I started looking at screenshots...and ended up somewhere closer to apprehension.

I don't want to look at that shit. I am a heterosexual male with a healthy libido, but, man, I don't know...should I be hiding this game from my wife? The way that witch's breast jiggle as she's channeling a spell...it's, like, pornographic? It leave me speechless. What if I had a small child? What if I don't want to be horrified by haunted mega-breasts while I chop up some goblins? I don't get the allure.

Bottom line - it detracts from the game. A lot. A lot a lot. I should be out there in the rain right now waiting to get my hands on a copy, but, as it is, I am not. That is all.


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